Soaring to Senile

Hey There Everyone!

Recently, I've decided to continue with documenting the everyday events that happen in my life so I can get a better understanding of where I've gone so far and where I want to end up. What better way to start than with an explanation of what all's happened this year and to record my descent into madness?

I'm frankly amazed that it took me this long to get back into the world of blogging - it's something I greatly enjoy and like to take full advantage of because it doesn't suck me in like Facebook does. Bear in mind that some of these posts may seem rather detailed, boring, and worrisome - try to bear with me and we'll figure this out.

I thought that last year was the toughest year of my life - my parents separated, I came out to everyone I knew, and I took on an incredible amount of work. But this year challenged me in a new way and I'm just now starting to overcome the repercussions of what happened last September. One chance encounter with an individual was enough to send me into a downward spiral that would, for lack of a better word, make the six months between September 23, 2011 and March 19, 2012 a living nightmare. I would wake up in the morning and wish that I hadn't. I'd stand in the shower for who knows how long and not want to get ready for the day. I'd go to work and stare aimlessly at the clock, wishing my shifts were already over for the day. It's enough to drive anyone up the wall. On top of that medical scare, I also had to deal with taking 19 credits of classes, working 30+ hours a week (including my midnight-early morning shift, which was murder). I also served as the president of two student organizations and was a charter member of three more. Frankly, I don't know to this day how I managed to overcome those obstacles.

What gave me the strength to continue on was a quote I heard long ago. "Out of a respect for life, you must endure." I still can't remember where I heard this nor who said it, but it's given me the motivation that I needed to carry on day by day and start to learn to smile once again. I say these things not to alienate others or make them think I was a nutcase last semester and the early part of this semester, but the mind can play devious jokes on us at times and make us wish that we were somewhere else, someone else, and something else.

March 19, 2012 was the day that changed my life. I went to have blood work done at the district health center and the results came back negative (to my endless and eternal relief). Now, I can get on with my life and start putting one foot forward each day with a spring in my step as well. I've been given a second chance and I intend to take full advantage of each opportunity that I am given from now on.

Thanks for listening to my inner ramblings!