My Fragile Strength Is Gone

Hi there everyone, I hope this week has been treating all of you well. I feel a need to apologize, but this will be my last blog post for a while. For those of you that read this blog, I'm sure you'll all terribly be heartbroken and disappointed. ^_^ There's a lot of stuff going on in life right now and I need a chance to catch up.

Something happened on Sunday that really made me reconsider the choices I've made in my life. When you put everything on the line for someone you care about and tell them how you feel, naturally any answer they give you is going to impact your life and change things from there on out. When you finally work up the courage to face your fears and tell that person how you feel, there is no going back from the alternative.

Having put everything on the line and being told what I was, it's like living in a state of numbness. You can't bring yourself to message them anymore because you might be one of how many different people vying for their attention. You might be one of a line of different people that all want the same thing you do.

That being said, and I hate to admit this, but I give up. Life is not supposed to be a competition when it comes to matters of the heart and your personal well-being and I can't subject myself to even trying. Fighting for what you want is supposed to be a test of how great your strength as an individual is, but there also comes a time when you need to admit to yourself that "your fragile strength is gone" (Thank you Sara Bareillas).

Even admitting to yourself that the person you care about is not someone you deserved to fall for in the first place makes you realize that things could never have worked out. Self-confidence set aside, competition brings out the worst in people and I'm lucky to have what I have. There is no way that this had the potential to ever go anywhere and it is time to face reality.

I hope you all enjoy this video and it leaves you room for thought. I believe that we can't choose who we fall for, but when we do, we need to accept that sometimes it wasn't meant to be.

This one happens to be one of my personal favorites. Yes, I know it has a Pokemon reference in it, but it'll make you stop and think. Hearing this fifteen years later hasn't changed this for me.

This is me signing out for the next indefinite future. I hope the stars shine on each of you :)

-Walter Daniel